Una Mes

One Month. One month ago I had just stepped off my coach into this unexpected place. This experience and Pacasmayo was something I could have never prepared myself for. I probably could have packed a little bit better and remembered that Walmart was a really long way away, but there is no manual for releasing a city girl into a very rural town, let alone a very rural town in a very foreign country.

About a week ago something changed. I finally felt adjusted. Not comfortable in the middle class, west county sort of comfortable, but adjusted. I started feeling like I actually had a life down here. Of course it was very different than the one I had been leading for the past four years. I had to learn how to just relax again. Stop feeling the need to constantly be doing something, constantly being around people, or constantly planning something. I'm definitely not cured of the need to constantly be on the go, but I think I have figured out that I can be on the go and still enjoy the here and now. I needed this time to breathe; I hadn't caught my breath from the summer just yet. I'm also starting to realize how much I am focused on myself right now, whether or not that is a good thing. This past year has pretty much been all about me. All about traveling, learning, and experiencing. In some respects I love that I'm finally worrying about myself. I have began to figure out what I want to do with my life (no asking, the plan is still formulating), I have began to start listening to myself, my emotions, and have finally started expressing them; I have began to grow up. Traveling across the world and graduating from college all in the same year will really do something to a person. (Sorry, I'll try to keep the seriousness and the blunt honestly to every month or so :-) )

Maybe that's why so many of us just take off after college to explore the world. We don't know how to deal with that transition so we cover it up with a different one. Assimilating into a new culture is very interesting. It took all of a week or two to be completely happy in England. I was on a college campus, with college students, in a small town, which just happened to be the exact same environment that I had left in America. Kirksville, Mo the Ormskirk, UK of the USA.

Assimilating to Pacasmayo, Peru was very similar to my experience in England actually, but a bit intensified. I remember being at Morrisons, our grocery store in Ormskirk and having the hardest time trying to understand the woman at the checkout counter telling me the total for my groceries. I stood there for at least a minute trying to carefully listen to her THICK northern/ liverpudlian accent and us getting so frustrated with each other because there was such a miscommunication going on over about 50 pence. In Peru, I have somehow managed to learn enough Spanish in these few weeks to actually buy things at the open market, but not without miscommunication. I went down to market on Monday to get some fish and bought them without too much struggle. Somehow I had to figure out how to tell her that I just wanted a forth of a kilo when I only knew the word for half. I just told her that I wanted less than a half a kilo and used a lot of hand gestures. I actually got my forth of a kilo and for 3.50 soles (which is a little over a dollar) It wasn't all smooth sailing in the beginning though. I couldn't even go to the grocery store alone. I was completely scared to use my limited Spanish, now I'm just a little shy about it. Girl's gotta eat, right?

Also, I don't know what everyone is talking about losing weight here.. I don't think I have lost a lb, but who knows. The food is absolutely delicious, and apart of the chicken foot soup, I have enjoyed almost every meal. I even had an amazing Peruvian hamburger from a street vender last night. No worries, I haven't gotten sick yet. Talk about delicious, this burger had two patties, all the fixins, and a huge fried egg in the middle all smothered in ahi (hot) sauce. That probably needs to be a treat though, because I'm sure it is ridiculously fattening. No queso though, so that was a bummer. :-( Chicken and fries, the token fast food down here is pretty fantastic and definitely has KFC beat. We also have this little sandwich shop which serves the most amazing spicy sausage sandwiches for 2 soles, which pared with a strawberry smoothie makes my mouth water. Ceviche, the traditional Peruvian food was also an amazing find. Pacasmayo is apparently the ceviche world's capital, as told by Carlos, this man that Cherry and I met the other day. He was riding around on this 4 wheeler with a du-rag that had an American flag in the shape of the US on the front. He yelled out, "Hey, where are you guys from?" and drove over to talk to us. He had apparently lived in Phoenix, AZ and moved back to Peru 4 years ago to retire and live on the beach. Ceviche, is raw fish marinated in a spicy lime and garlic sauce that when prepared just right is fabulous. I have decided I only really like the fleshy white, raw fish. I'm not much of a squid person. It's too rubbery.

Hopefully, I'm not gaining any weight because of this fabulous food. I severely doubt any change in my weight would go up, but I deceived not to weigh myself until I get back to the States. I think I look great and don't need to lose any weight, so I'm not going to bother even thinking about it. :-) I think that is all a part of me finally taking care of myself. I finally feel comfortable in my skin, which has been a long process over the past four years. Me gusta ser altura. I like being tall, which has been somewhat of a joke with the guys down here so I'm very glad I got over that a long time ago. Yes, I'm taller than most of the Peruvian people I have seen, which gets me even more attention. I was walking with the guys from church downtown yesterday and they saw a tall girl and automatically starting staring and talking about her. I guess tall people are sort of a novelty down here just as much as white people are. I am constantly been stared at, called a gringa, whistled at, and blown kisses from moving mototaxies. I just want to go up and smack them sometimes and tell them that they aren't being a good representation on their culture for tourists. Not all of the men are like that thught. There are a lot of Peruvian men that actually respect women, but I guess I won't ever get to meet them because they aren't the ones whistling at me in the street. OKAY, I'm done complaining about that frustration.

I absolutely love teaching. I feel like I am student teaching, because for the most part I have no idea what I am doing, but I really enjoy it. I really like coming up with new, fun things for the kids to do, and definitely like being an authority on something. I definitely have a lot to learn about teaching, if I want to continue on down this track, but for now this experience has been a lot of fun and is even helping me. I have stage fright; I get nervous, my heart starts racing, turn red, start shaking, and my voice starts to quiver when I get up in front of people alone, yet today, I sang a song to my fourth and fifth grade class. How in the world is that possible?? Maybe it’s because they don't speak great English, maybe it's because they are just kids, or maybe it’s because I'm actually growing up and growing out of it. I have pushed myself in front of crowds and even in front of my 100 + person organization at school to try and combat this stupid phobia, and finally without even thinking about it, I make a big stride in the right direction.

For everyone that I have already talked to about being down here, please don't worry about me. I know that sometimes I might seem really down and depressed but, it’s just like that sometimes. Sometimes it's just really depressing down here. It looks like a bomb went off in half of Pacasmayo and there is trash almost everywhere. I feel like I'm living in a big dumpster sometimes, but it definitely has its perks down here. I am in 70 degree weather pretty much all the time, I live 10 minutes from the beach, the food is fabulous, and I have even started to make some friends outside of my isolated community at the orphanage. Life is getting better. I'm feeling happier, and actually getting into somewhat of a routine. I'm learning Spanish, teaching, and hopefully making a difference in a child's life. I get the most amazing hugs everyday from our kids. They squeeze you tight like they haven't had a hug in years and then their faces light up afterwards. Wouldn't it be great if every hug was like that? It's pretty amazing down here sometimes.