Starfish

I saw a fish struggling to get back into the water on Saturday when I was taking a much needed walk along the beach.. to which I have been scolded by all of my friends for. Apparently, I'm not allowed to walk alone, making me want to do it more often. I am safe. I promise.

Anyways, back to the fish. I saw this little fish on the beach and tried with all my might to pick it up and throw it back in to the ocean. I felt so bad for it and yet.. I just couldn't pick it up and put it back into the water. It was going to flail and wiggle and possibly bite me.. This was the irrational thinking that was going through my mind as I was standing there over the fish trying to decide whether or not to pick it up. Sorry to disappoint myself and everyone else, but I didn't pick it up. My rational was that the tide was coming up and I had dug a little trench for the water to come in faster, plus there was a fisherman that was walking along the beach right behind me staring at this crazy white girl staring at something on the beach. Hopefully he took pity on the fish and threw him back, he was too little to eat. Saying all of this I feel like a horrible person. I couldn't get over myself enough to throw the little struggling fish back in to the ocean. :-( I'm still dealing with the guilt.


I ended up talking to one of my camp happy day mothers online tonight who gave me some much needed encouragement and reminded me of a story that she had given me at the end of camp, thanking us for her son's experience there.

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”
The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

This made me feel horrible about the fish, but actually helped me with my frustrations down here. I have so much respect for teachers. They have one of the most difficult jobs on earth and almost never actually getting to see the effects of their efforts. It is so nice to hear every once and a while that you have actually made a difference in just one child's life. I wrote out the story and am going to post it on my wall. I think I just figured out how I am going to decorate my barren apartment. ;-)